Ebenezer Byakuya
by TheDarkHyuuga
Summary: MERRY CHRISTMAS! This is a Bleach christmas story for all of you! A gag story of 'The Christmas Carol' but wiht our favorite stoic captain! PM for the real ending. Can Byakuya find Christmas in his heart?


**Happy holidays to all!!**

**This is a little something I thought would get us all in the spirit of Christmas!!**

**Please enjoy **

**And R&R!!**

**It's more like a gag of Scrooge!**

**HAPPYHOLIDAYS**

"Renji, are you almost done with the files?" questioned Byakuya Kuchiki, addressing his fukutaichou without looking up from his own files. Said red head looked up from the blank piece of paper in front of him and frowned at his taichou.

"Uh…"he began.

"You must learn to go quicker then _that_ Abarai-fukutaichou" Byakuya interrupted.

"Well, taichou, you see…" Renji eyed the Kuchiki. Byakuya still didn't look up at him. The red head hated it when his captain didn't seem to listen to him. He got up and walked over to his desk. He sat at the edge of the corner and stared intently at his captain. Byakuya tried to ignore him. But sitting there, Renji looked like a child waiting to be given his candy. He just despised it when Renji did that. So, sighing, he looked up from his files.

"Yes?"

Abarai smiled. "Ichigo said that in his world, there is this holiday called Christmas and he explained to me what you do in Christmas!"

No emotion appeared on the emo-like taichou. "And?"

"Well, Christmas is a time to gather the family and have nice dinners and family times!"

"Are you going anywhere with this?"

"Yes, I'm just getting to that" Renji frowned a little. "In Christmas, everyone takes a break from there work to visit family!"

Silence.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" Byakuya questioned. "Because if it is, then I suggest you get back to work and don't bother me with unnecessary information". Renji frowned completely.

"But taichou! Rukia is doing the same thing! She's taking a break and we're going to visit our friend's grave and later visit Ichigo to have Christmas dinner with his family! Ukitake-taichou allowed her to go!"

Byakuya gave a semi-glare towards his fukutaichou. "Renji, you're too lazy to have any breaks". The Kuchiki went back to his files.

"Taichou! It's Christmas Eve though!" the red head complained.

"Renji…don't push it" he warned. Renji gave a 'hmph' and went back to his desk.

"Rukia sure will be upseeeet…" he chimed, strolling to his desk. He looked back to see if that fazed his taichou. As usual, it didn't. "You knoooooow…" he continued "it's pretty cruel not to let me pray for my friend's souls". Nothing. "It would make them happy to see me theeeeeere…and Rukia will get pretty mad at me when it isn't even my faaaaaault…and maybe I could bring something nice back for you from the Real Wooooorld…and we can spend a little bit of time together for the holidaaaays…and even-"

"If I _let you go_, will that _shut you up_?" Byakuya asked, grimacing angrily. Renji nodded quickly. "Very well, but when he come back, I expect you to do ALL the file work for a month". More quick nods. "Then go, but only for the day"

Renji jumped out of his seat in glee and ran towards his jacket. "Thanks sooooo much Taichou!! I will defiantly get you something nice for Christmas!". And with that, his fukutaichou disappeared past the front doors.

"Bah…humbug" Byakuya grumbled under his breath.

**MERRYCHRISTMAS**

The office was quiet. When his fukutaichou wasn't around to be loud and whatnot, the office was almost as peaceful as the noble wanted it to be. The cold wind hit the closed window above his chair. Byakuya filled the last of his papers and stretched his arms. He felt so stiff. But it was the price to pay in upholding his work as a noble. Unlike his stray dog fukutaichou, who defiantly needed some good taming after he came back. The Kuchiki got up and walked over to the hooks. He grabbed his own coat, made of clear, pure white silk, and walked out to the porch. The wind was chillier then he thought as he huddled inside his thin coat. His calm walk began to change into a little sprint as he ran towards his mansions. As he entered his warm home, servants where all over him. They grabbed his coat and brushed off some ice pelts on his outfit.

"I will be taking a bath, prepare it and send in towels and new clothes" he called to them, not even looking at his scurrying servants. His walked to his over sized bath room with an even more oversized bath tub. Byakuya stripped out of his cold captain's uniform. The tub was already full, surprisingly, as his servants raised the water temperature to a not so high temperature. The noble entered the tub and sighed as his tensed muscles relaxed finally. The water was just perfect. Red blossom petals floated around, adding a sweet scent to the water.

After the bath, Byakuya dressed into his white kimono and walked towards his room. "I want no disturbances" he called to the servants who bowed and ran off. He closed and locked the door behind him. The noble sat on his large, silk green couch and relaxed once again in the comfort.

The silence was immense. But first…

The Kuchiki noble got up and walked over to what looked like a closet. He opened the green and red sliding doors and looked at the small picture frame. In the picture was a woman that looked almost exactly like Rukia. "Hisane…" Byakuya began.

**HEREISTHEGAG!**

"Oh hell ya! This is fucking delicious!" Renji exclaimed, stuffing his face with mashed potato with chicken pieces inside. Ichigo slapped his forehead in disgust and Rukia blushed in embracement. The Kurosaki family just watched there new visitor gobble up his fifth plate. He finished it in 2 minutes flat. "Mofe pwfease!" he said, with a stuffed mouth.

Yuzu smiled nervously and took his plate, putting more food on it. Renji kept on eating. Rukia coughed.

"Um, sorry about him…he's just a little odd" she smiled. "Thank you for having us over!"

"No problem Rukia-chan!" Isshin smiled. "You know you're like family!!!" He jumped up and hugged the over sized picture of Ichigo's mother. "Isn't that right Masaki!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ichigo mentally banged his head on the table. His dad was totally embarrassing. But his two mystery friends didn't mind.

After the dinner, they all went up to Ichigo's room. The ten made sure his father and sister didn't over hear him talking with Rukia and Renji. They all sat on his bed.

Renji patted his belly. "Whoa! That was amazing! Never ate so much in my whole life!"

Ichigo was seriously about to punch Renji but Rukia beat him to it.

"That was so embarrassing!! You idiot!"

"Ow! Rukia! I said 'thank you'!"

"Whatever" the orange haired teen sighed. "So, Soul Society let you guys come?"

"Actually Ukitake-taichou said it was just fine with him, but I don't know how Renji convinced Byakuya nii-sama to let him come" Rukia answered, looking at her red head friend. Renji gave a goofy look.

"The same way I got him to agree to let me try a new kido spell, and get all those extra breaks!"

"…no comment" Ichigo said.

"But seriously! Your brothers a real coal mine Rukia!" Renji continued.

"Renji! Byakuya nii-sama is a respectable man!" Rukia scowled.

"Oh ya! Well he was this close, "the red head took two tanned fingers and gave a little space between them "to not letting me come! And he only let me stay here for the day! He didn't seem to be in the spirit of Christmas at all!"

"Renji!"

"Scrooge" Ichigo said plainly.

"Ichigo!"

"Ya totally!" Renji agreed.

"Shut up!" Rukia shouted.

"No. I mean what Renji said seemed so much like Ebenezer Scrooge" the teen got up after seeing the confused looks on his friend's faces. He went to his tall shelf of books. He zoomed through some of the titles till he perked and put his fingers on a book. He slide it out and sat back on his bed. Rkia and Renji looked over his shoulder.

"A Christmas Carol?" Renji read.

"What's that?" Rukia asked.

Ichigo opened the book to the first page. It had a small picture on it of a grumpy, old looking man slouched on his chair. "This is an old christmas story about this dude named Scrooge who absolutly hated christmas. The story goes that he is visited by three ghosts who teach him the meaning of christmas"

"Read it to us!" Rukia exclaimed. A few minutes after the sub-shinigami finished the book, Renjia dn Rukia were so near him. They had been so interested.

"Wow…" Renji commented.

"What you said about Byakuya kind of reminded me of this guy"

"Well, he does seem like a Scrooge". That time Rukia didn't interupte her red head friend.

Then a light bulb went off in his head. Renji got up and smiled at his friends. He had a plan.

"No Renji" Ichigo sighed, closing the book.

"What?"

"We know that look, you must have some idiotic idea in your head!" Rukia exclaimed.

"It's not idiotic!" Renji protested. "Can't you just listen to it"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "Don't fall for it!" the female shinigami shouted at the orange haired teen.

"Ok here's the deal," Renji began, much to Rukia's displeasure "we get some other people to help us, and we put on a little 'play'"

"What kind of ply?" Ichigo questioned.

"Our own 'Christmas Carol'!! For Byakuya"

"…told you it was going to be stupid" Rukia sighed.

"Hey! It could actually help him! Like Scrooge!!" Renji said.

"It's worth a try" Ichigo nodded.

"What!" a look of absolute horror beamed on the short shinigami's face.

"Hey, it actually _could_ help Byakuya" Ichigo shrugged. "Don't you want him to be happy on Christmas?"

"Well yes! But…" she began.

"Alright! It's settled then!" Renji jumped up. "But first! We need to get some more pople to help us"

"And do you really thing there will be anyone who will help us help _Byakuya_?"

"Ichigo!" Rukia snapped.

**TIMEFORTHEFUN**

Byakuya finished his praying for Hisane and was now resting on his large, cotton red chair. He looked out his window at the dark, cold night. Dew formed around the window frame. Good thing it was closed. Byakuya wasn't in the mood for anything cold. That's why he raised the heat in his room so much, he began to sweat, which wasn't natural for the noble. The heat was so mesmerizing. He began to feel droopy and felt himself fall to sleep.

However, a sudden 'boo!' jolted him up immediately. He hit his back on the chair, sending pain up his spine.

Once he recovered, the noble proceeded to glare angrily at the intruder. However, he could only gave a confused gaze. The figure was dressed in ripped blue shirt and red pants. They looked like complete rags, which disgusted the noble. What disgusted him most was the ashy smell coming from the stranger. The figure's dark brown hair fell over his eyes and his face was stained with dirt marks. In fact, every part of his body that was revealed was stained with the dirt. Two chains were attacked to the figures legs, which were attached two semi large boulder thingies, that prisoners in jail wear (don't know what there called!).

"Um…" the noble began.

"Byaaaaaakuyaaaaa Kuuuuuchikiiiiiii…" the stranger wooed.

"Uh, yes?"

"It is IIIIIIIIIIII, your long deceased co-worker"

"…?"

"It's meeeeee…"

"…"

"…you don't know me?"

"Not really" Byakuya raised an eyebrow.

"It's me! Kyoraku!!" the annoyed taichou of the 8th division exclaimed.

"Shunsui-taichou…what are you doing?" Byakuya sighed.

"I'm here to warn youuuuuuu Byakuyaaaaa" Kyoraku went back to his ghost mode. "You will be visited by three ghoooooosts toniiiiiiiight. The ghost of Christmas Past, the ghost of Christmas Present and the ghost of Christmas Yet to Coooooooome"

"…why are they coming here?"

"Because you are cruel and cold to everyooooooone, you must learn the meaning of Christmas before it's too laaaaate"

"For what?"

"Do you see me know Byakuyaaaaaa…I was cruel and cold like you before I died and this was my faaaaaate"

"Kyoraku-taichou, you aren't dead" Byakuya stated matter-of-factually "and further more, you aren't cruel and cold at all, your just lazy and insensitive, now will you please leave me before I call the body guards"

"Hey, hey man! Listen, no need to send the cavalry!" Shunsui perked. "U-uh, I mean…BEWAAAAAAAARE!!!!"

The captain darted to the window, threw it open and jumped out. Cold wind ruffled the baby blue curtains that hung over Byakuya's window. Bliss blinded the Kuchiki noble as he reached over, grabbed his window and shut it closed. He shivered and cursed under his breath. This is real bad considering his place. Byakuya went to sit back on his chair and relax. Ok, he was going to pretend that didn't happen at all. He closed his eyes. Then a loud screech was heard and his eyes shut back open. This time he did glare at the new stranger, no matter how ridiculous they looked.

The figure standing in front of him wore a white gown that fell over the dark skinned stranger and reached to the floor, obviously too big on the figure's frame. A white veil covered her up to her mouth, which was formed into a teethy grin. Somehow, Byakuya knew who it was.

"Yoruichi?" he questioned. The figure straightened up and chuckled nervously.

"N-no! Of course not!" she shook her head, the veil flipping back and forth, sort of revealing the cat ladies eyes. "Oops!" she covered the veil again.

Byakuya just stared, with annoyance.

"I am the ghost of Christmas paaaaaast…" she wooed.

"What do you want?"

"It's not what I want Byakuya boy!" she chirped but coughed then went back to her low voice. "I am here to show you what you were like n the past!"

And with that, the 'ghost of Christmas past' grabbed the noble and threw him out the window. He landed in a pile of leaves. What a degrading position for the heir of the Kuchiki clan. He got up and death glared the cat lady who, grinning, jumped after him.

"Whoa! That was fun!" she exclaimed. "Let's do it again!". Glare, glare. "Or, we can just go!"

She grabbed him once again and dragged the protesting Byakuya into the woods. Soon, they reached a small path of land.

"So what?"

The women turned to him, her body relaxing, giving an air of pity.

"Aw poor Byakuya" she began. "You know that your father had abandoned you because he blamed you for killing his wife, and you were left to rot as a child!"

"…are you sure your talking about me?" the noble questioned. Yoruichi patted his shoulder and nodded.

"It's ok Byakuya"

The Kuchiki shook his head with an odd look on his face.

"It must have also hurt when your sister died!" the cat lady broke down in sobs.

"What!? I never had a sister" Byakuya stated.

Yoruichi hugged him a little. "It's ok, Byakuya boy"

"Women, your crazy" he pushed her off. "So why did you bring me out here?"

She smiled at him and put her finger to her mouth. "Wait"

Suddenly, more dark figures came from the trees. When they came out to the moonlight, everyone was dressed in clothes you would wear in a formal party. Girls were in fluffy dresses and men in black suits. One was carrying a battery operated radio and smooth music was played. Some people grabbed each other and started to dance.

"What?" Byakuya questioned.

"Don't you remember this Byakuya?" the 'ghost' asked.

"Not really"

"This is the party that was hosted by your boss years before!"

"…?"

A man, Ukitake to be exact, stepped onto a small stump cut from the trees. He smiled and the music was cut off.

"My friends! Tonight is Christmas Eve! So this party is for all of you! Please enjoy!" he announced. Everyone cheered and the music went on again.

"Ukitake-taichou was never my boss, and this party never happened" Byakuya scowled a little.

"See over there Byakuya?" Yoruichi pointed to a still figure, ignoring Byakuya's attitude. The figure was wearing a dark suit, without a tie, and shaggy black hair that fell over his eyes. He looked very quiet. Byakuya squinted his eyes. "Is he wearing a wig?"

"No silly!" Yoruichi became defensive again "it's you"

A look of disgust passed Byakuya's face. "You can't be serious"

"Ooooh, but I am! How could you not remember this party?"

"Simple, because it never happened!"

"Oh no? Keep watching"

Byakuya had no choice. Standing in the middle of the forest, surrounded by people who wanted him to stay, him being in his thin silk robe and in the cold night air, the noble had no way of escaping. So he continued to look at the figure that was supposed to be him.

Another man, Hisagi, came up to the younger Byakuya.

"Hey Byakuya! Why don't you dance? There are a lot of lovely ladies here tonight!" Hisagi suggested, gesturing to the young ladies that was formed a few second ago.

"No, I just don't feel like it" the Byakuya imposter said, trying to make his voice sound like the real Byakuya. Said Kuchiki frowned. That wasn't how he sounded like at all. But, well, he didn't really notice his voice before for that matter.

"Fine" Hisagi left and grabbed a random girl to dance with.

"Now, do you remember this?" Yoruichi said. She pointed to a figure close the 'Byakuya'. The real Kuchiki looked over to where she pointed. It was a female in a dark green, puffed dress. She held a fan out in front of her face and rejected the many men that came to ask to dance. Though the fan hid her face, Byakuya could see it was Rukia. He was so confused now.

"This is where you met your wife!" Yoruichi exclaimed.

Byakuya glared at her. "This is NOT how I met Hisane!"

"Yes it is! Watch!"

The man that was acting as Byakuya walked up to the Hisane imposter and smiled. He took her hand "may I have this dance?" 'Hisane' giggled and nodded. The two came to the middle and dance. Everyone stopped and watched. Random sparkles that seemed to be falling from the tree tops circled the two as the spun around. Byakuya tried looking for the origin of the sparkles but Yoruichi grabbed his chin and pulled so he was looking at the couple again.

"Isn't that romantic? Don't you remember this is how you met Hisane?"

"No, for two reasons" Byakuya said plainly. "One, this isn't romantic, just unnecessary, and two, I met Hisane when she was dieing on the streets, not in a dress, dancing like idiots"

At that, the two stopped and stared at Byakuya. In fact, everyone was. The Hisane imposter looked at everyone nervously. They all looked like they were about to kill Byakuya.

"That was a great dance Byakuya!" the actress said, snapping everyone back to the little play.

"Oh! Thank you Hisane! You were good too!" the actor smiled.

"See how gentle you were, just from the look of your wife's face!"

"This is really ridiculous" the real Byakuya shook his head. "Are we almost done?"

"Well, sort of!" the ghost said. The figures then darted back into the shadows. Two suddenly came out, dragging a bed. They placed it in the middle of the plain and ran back into the trees.

The Hisane imposter came out and sat on the bed. She took out a napkin and started to jab invisible tears and she pretended to cry. Suddenly, the Byakuya imposter came out and sat beside her.

"Oh, Byakuya! All you ever care about is your money! You never care about me!" she sobbed.

"That isn't true! I love you Hisane!"

"No you don't!" she got up and rushed out towards the forest.

"After you became rich, you forgot all about her and focused on getting more money!" the cat lady narrorated. Byakuya stared at her. "That's why she left you and married another! Oh, so dramatic"

"You're really messed up with your history, Yoruichi" the noble said, angrily.

"Hey! I'm the ghost of Christmas past! Not…this Yoruichi that you speak of! Though she does sound very sexy!" Byakuya gave her an irritated look. "Could you try to play along?"

"No, can we leave now?"

"Oh fine!" defeated, the 'ghost' grabbed the taller man and dragged him back to his room. With immense strength, she climbed the wall up to his window and through him on the floor. Byakuya's arm went first, hitting the floor with a loud bang. He was about to swear but held his tongue. The cold air wasn't helping the pain. He looked around for Yoruichi, with the utmost killing intent. But he saw no one. Not outside or around his window. He slowly closed his windows again. Cold and bitter, the Kuchiki slumped back into his chair and sighed. He tried again to relax and pretend that it was just a dream.

He finally cooled down as the heat of his room returned. He sunk down into the cushions and tried to fall asleep.

But, as he should have expected, some people didn't want him to have a good night's sleep.

The window's burst opened and a figure hopped in. Byakuya was an inch away from pouncing on the intruder and straggling him. But that was for commoners. And, no matter how pissed and tired he was, he wasn't THAT delusional. He looked up at the new figure.

This one was wearing a Santa Clause outfit; exclude the fat belly, jolly look, red nose and white beard. And also the fact that the hat was hanging on one of the spikes on the figure's head. Just looking at the face, Byakuya could tell who it was.

"Your in with this Zaraki-taichou" the noble raised and eyebrow. The crazy captain laughed, more sadistically then jolly, which was intended.

"NO Byakuya-teme!!! I'm the ghost of Christmas present!!" exclaimed the loud 'ghost'. "I'm 'ere to show ya what the lives of the people around you are like!"

"…can we not do this?" an innocent question. But the 'ghost' just kept laughed more loudly then needed.

"'Course not, teme! Yer need to see this so you can understand the true meanin' of Christmas, bitch!". The large man grabbed the smaller noble and lifted him over his shoulder.

"Oh…no" Byakuya whispered. With one quick movement, Zaraki was out the window and running to wards the forest again. Branches and loose leaves hit the two as Zaraki speeded further into the forest.

"You ok back ther' Byakuya-teme?" the crazy 'ghost' shouted back.

The Kuchiki's face was too stuffed with branches to respond. Soon they stopped at a larger area. Zaraki dropped the noble with a thud. Byakuya rubbed his hip and got up. The only thing he could do was glare at the large man with the pain in his body.

"Now look!" the 'ghost' pointed. Byakuya turned around to see a group of people sitting down. They tried giving the illusion of kids, which looked pretty ridiculous.

"Oh I do hope father comes home soon!" chirped one of the 'kids'. The voice was familiar. It was Hinamori-fukutaichou, dressed in a 18s uniform for a female child.

"Me too!" the rest chimed.

"Do you need help Tiny Kira?" asked one of the kids. Kira-fukutaichou, dressed in an even smaller uniform, grabbed a wooden stick and slowly got up, as if he didn't have the power in his legs to do it.

"No, it's ok! Thank you!" Tiny Kira smiled, slowly walking to the small wooden table.

"What…is this? And why are the fukutaichou's wearing the most ridiculous outfits"

The actors decided to ignore that comment.

"Wait till the dad comes home!" Zaraki exclaimed. Suddenly there was a knock.

"Oh! It's father!" Hinamori chirped running over to the tree and opened the imaginary door. Out came Renji, smiling. "Welcome home father!" the 'kids' hugged there 'dad'. Suddenly, Hisagi-fukutaichou, wearing a pink and white dress with a bonnet, came out and hugged Renji.

"Welcome home, sweetie!"

"…" Byakuya was speechless. He looked at Renji then at Zaraki then at Renji, then back.

"I know, such a beautiful family" Zaraki wiped an invisible tear.

"That isn't what I would call it!" Byakuya shouted. "Renji doesn't have a family! He can barley get a girlfriend, let alone talk to a girl". Renji winced as he sat down at the wooden table, giving off angry vibes at Byakuya. "And besides, a man can't get pregnant!"

"Hey! Don't call Renji's wife a man! How rude!" Zaraki hissed. Byakuya stared in disbelief that the large taichou.

The scene continued.

"How are you Tiny Kira?" Renji asked, holding his arms out. Izuru came to him and fell, purposely, into his 'fathers' arms.

"Why does he use that cane? Izuru-fukutaichou can walk fine" Byakuya pointed out.

"Nope he can't! Tiny Kira has a sickness that could _kill him_!" Zaraki emphasized the last two words, hoping to get something from the shorter taichou. Nothing. "Man you are a coal mine"

"What?"

"Nothin'!"

"So tell me then, what does this have to do with me?"

"Because you pay Renji such a low income and don't let him have the full Christmas break, he can't support his family!"

"Ok, first of all, I **NEVER** pay Renji, he never works as much as he should, second, Christmas doesn't come to Soul Society so it doesn't say anywhere that I have to give him the breaks, and third, _Renji doesn't have a family_"

"But Byakuya–teme! Christmas is everywhere! For the livin' and the dead, and can't you see! Renji does to have a family"

"Whatever, it's too screwed anyway"

Renji coughed and grabbed his cup. "Here's to Byakuya, for putting food on our table!" he rose the cup in the air.

"Hmph! You can' be serious, darling!" Hisagi looked crossed. "Why would we toast for such a cruel man like Byakuya"

"What did you say, Hisagi-fukutaichou" Byakuya now looked crossed with the cross dresser.

"Har, har!! Byakuya-teme! They can't hear you" Zaraki laughed.

"Why not?" questioned the Kuchiki.

"Because! Technically we are like shadows! We can't be seen by them!"

"But that makes no sense. They just came out of the trees!"

"Shush! We have another home to visit!" Zaraki grabbed the noble's arm. Before Byakuya could even raise an eyebrow, the larger taichou flung him so the Kuchiki was sailing up into the air, spinning like a pinwheel. He finally landed, hitting his back first and hearing a crack. Pain shot everywhere in his body and the noble jumped up. He bite his tongue so hard it was bleeding, so he wouldn't swear. Instead he death glared the smiling captain.

"Look!" Zaraki pointed to the next scene.

It was another set of tables and chairs. Shinigami, wearing the same ridiculous outfits, were sitting on the chairs. Rukia, in a lavender dress stepped out and clapped her hands. The piano player, Komamura-taichou, stopped playing. Everyone's eyes where on the short shinigami. She beamed a smile that ached Byakuya's heart. She really did look so much like Hisane.

"Welcome my friends! Merry Christmas to all!" she chirped. Everyone cheered.

"What is this?" Byakuya asked.

"Rukia's party!" Zaraki answered, as if he expected Byakuya to have known that all ready.

"But Rukia isn't hosting a party. And where is this set?"

"At 'er home! And yes she has a party! Are ya blind!"

"First off everyone," Rukia began "I would like to wish a merry Christmas to my only family, Byakuya!"

"But Rukia-chan!" exclaimed Isane-fukutaichou. "Byakuya doesn't even know the meaning of Christmas! Why should we force it on him!"

"I know Isane-chan, but I know Byakuya nii-sama is good! And I'm sure he has the Christmas spirit somewhere!" Rukia smirked. "After all, believe it or not, my sister really loved him"

Byakuya sighed. "Are we almost done here?' he asked, angry now.

"Alright, alright, just wanted to show ya that there are some people who still think you have a good heart"

"So we can go?" Byakuya was becoming impatient.

Zaraki only smiled, sadistically. He grabbed the smaller taichou from the waist and flipped him over his shoulders.

"No wait! Not like this!" the noble begged. But it was useless. Zaraki was already running through the forest once more, the branches hitting both in the face and body. They finally reached back to the mansion. The 'ghost' jumped up to the window. He grabbed the sile and threw Byakuya inside. The Kuchiki landed with a thump on his leg. More pain. Just perfect. But no swearing. The noble got up and rubbed his aching knee. He looked around for he baka who had thrown him. But, once again, he couldn't find the 'ghost'. And once again, he got up, scowled and closed the windows. He sat down in his chair till the heat came back. He relaxed, again.

Doesn't he ever learn his lesson?

A soft gust of hot and cold wind hit Byakuya in the face, like a light slap. He began to open his eyes but stopped. Maybe if he pretended he was asleep, the 'ghost' would go away. So Byakuya relaxed his muscles and drooped on his chair, staying silent and still. The gust soon stopped and the room became quiet again. Good. Maybe the ghost was gone. The Kuchiki sighed and opened his eyes, only to be met with figure in a black cap covering the stranger's entire body. A hood hid his face, making it impossible to see the figure's face. The gust of wind came again and a dark cloud loomed over the 'ghost'.

"What the devil?" Byakuya's eyes were wide in shock. The window's suddenly burst open and the gust of wind soon turned colder as the air from outside came in. The figure pointed out the window. "Are…you the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?" The figure nodded. "Your going to show me the Christmas in the future?" another nod. "So, will you talk to me?" It shook its head. "Well, at least that's something to be sure about" Byakuya stared intently at the figure. "So who is it this time? Kisuke? Mayuri?" The figure pointed to the window again. "Fine, better get it over with then"

The Kuchiki grabbed the window and jumped, actually landing on his feet that time. He looked up to see the 'ghost' float down. "That kind of looked almost real" Byakuya was a little surprised. The figure pointed towards the forest. The Kuchiki shrugged. At least this person wasn't forcing this on him. Byakuya began to follow the wide track that Zaraki had made a few minutes ago. The 'ghost' followed behind. They soon came to the path of land. A few minutes after they came, two people, Rikichi and Hanataro, came out, wearing heavy looking suits.

"So I heard he finally died" Hanataro began.

"Ya, and on Christmas day, always said Christmas would be the death of him" Rikichi laughed.

"Ya" the fourth division officer laughed, nervously. "Do you know who he left his fortune to?"

"No, not really, but does it matter!" the sixth division officer smiled. "The funeral will probably be too cheap. No one will come!"

The two laughed, Hanataro's a little quieter.

"Who's dead?" Byakuya asked, looking at the 'ghost'. No answer. "Oh right, death should be silent"

Rikichi and Hanataro ran into the trees and dragged back a bed. Something seemed to be laying in it. The two ran back and two more people came out. It was Ikkaku and Yumichika of the 11th division. They were wearing ragged clothes, as if dogs had ripped the fabric. The cackled loudly.

"So you get the bed sheets and I get the clock and chairs?" Ikkaku questioned, smiling just as sadistically as his captain.

"Ya! Might as well take everything we can get our hands on before the rest of them get here!" Yumichika agreed. The huddled their bundles close to their bodies.

"Poor sap! If only he had made friends when he was alive, he wouldn't have to have such a…gruesome end" Ikkaku laughed as he and his friend scurried back into the forest.

"Ok…I still don't get it" Byakuya raised an eyebrow.

Soon, people came out and dragged the bed back into the forest. Another person came out and put a grave stone on the ground, sinking into the ground to stand up right. Fog soon surrounded the grave stone as the person ran back into the woods. The 'ghost' pointed to the grave stone. Byakuya sighed and walked over to the grave stone. He got down on his knees and blew the fog out. To is surprise, the grave stone marked a familiar name:

_Byakuya Kuchiki_

_Died on Christmas_

_1600-2007_

"I…died?" the noble's eyes were so wide now.

The figure nodded.

"So this is what will happen to me if I keep being cruel?"

Another nod.

"…" Byakuya got up, glaring at the figure "do you expect me to believe that?!"

Nod.

"Well I don't! I've just about had it with ALL of you!" he screamed, surprised at himself but still glaring. "This is a pathetic attempt at helping me cheer up for…Christmas!! Your all crazy!"

He ran over and grabbed the figure's clock. "Stop this now! Let me have a good nights sleep! And tomorrow" Byakuya smiled, an evil-like smile "I will load Renji with so much files he'll be done by next Halloween!!!"

The Kuchiki then gave of a blood curling laugh. "DID YOU HEAR ME YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! TILL NEXT HALLOWEEN!!!"

His laughs echoed in the forest, every actor, actress, animal and living being heard his laughter.

"I thought this would turn out bad" Rukia shivered.

"Dammit!!" Renji scowled.

"It _was_ your idea Renji!" Ichigo growled.

"I know…" the red head said quietly. It wasn't heard over Byakuya's laughter.

**HAHAHERESTHEGAG**

Byakuya's eyes shot open, his breathing hitched and his skin sweating.

He straightened up, only to realize he was sitting on his silk chair. He felt himself sink into the cotton, softening. The heat in his room was just the way he left it. The noble looked out his window to see the dark sky shade into many blue shades. Night fall was passing to bring the morning sun. The Kuchiki sighed and sank into his chair.

"Only a dream" he smirked a little "it was only a dream"

Suddenly, a 'boo!' jolted him up again. He hit his back on the chair, sending pain up his spine…again. His eyes widened in horror. The figure was dressed in ripped blue shirt and red pants. They looked like complete rags. The familiar ashy smell coming from the stranger reached his nose. The figure's dark brown hair fell over his eyes and his face was stained with dirt marks. In fact, every part of his body that was revealed was stained with the dirt. Two chains were attacked to the figures legs, which were attached two semi large boulder thingies that prisoners in jail wear.

"Byaaaaaakuyaaaaa Kuuu-" the stranger began.

"NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" the noble shouted. Kyoraku fell back in fright at the reaction.

"B-Byakuya?"

"No!!!!! No more!!! Please I beg of you!!!" the Kuchiki heir got down on his knees and he looked at his fellow captain with pleading eyes. "I promise to love Christmas forever and hold it in my heart for eternity!!! If you just don't let me go through that nightmare again!!!!!" The noble grabbed Kyoraku's dirty pants and held on as if he was his life.

"R-really?" questioned the captain. Byakuya nodded quickly. "Wow, I'm that good huh!"

The front door of Byakuya's room opened up a little and Rukia peeked in.

"Kyoraku? What's going on? I heard Byakuya nii-sama scream!" she whispered.

"Um, apparently he promises he'll love Christmas if we don't do our little 'Scrooge' play" the captain answered.

"Really?" Renji questioned, opening the door fully. The taichous and fukutaichous of Soul Society flooded in. everyone gawked at the sight of the great noble Byakuya, clinging to Kyoraku like a frightened kid. "So my plan worked!"

"Yes, apparently" Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah!"

Everyone looked at each other and shrugged. Soon, Byakuya's room became empty once again. Rukia hugged her brother.

"I'm so happy that you'll love Christmas now nii-sama!" she chirped. "Now we can celebrate it together!" she got up and ran out to announce the Christmas party to the servants. Ichigo followed her.

"Wow, and I thought this idea would be the stupidest!" Renji chuckled and smiled at his glaring taichou. "Merry Christmas taichou!"

"Bah…humbug" Byakuya growled.

"What was that?"

"Um…Merry Christmas fukutaichou"

"That's what I thought you said!" the red head skipped out.

**YAYFORBYAKUYA**

The huge party, created by the Kuchiki clan, was the biggest vent. Shinigami filled the large Kuchiki yard, along with the smell of food, singing and music, and talking, reached the air. Everyone was happy and laughing. The party was so big, Head Captain Yamamoto declared Christmas an official holiday in Seireitei.

"And it's all thanks to Byakuya Kuchiki! Who will carry Christmas in his heart forever!" the old man announced everyone cheered and patted Byakuya on the back. The Kuchiki was actually smiling. He didn't really mind the holiday anymore, really.Not after that nightmare.

"Come here nii-sama!" Rukia called. "You get to cut the Christmas cake!" she grabbed her brother's arm and dragged him to sit down in the middle of a crowd. A huge cake sat on the table. It had green, white and red forsting all over it. In big, blue frosting letters, the word 'Christmas' was set in the middle. Renji handed his captain the knife. Byakuya sat himself down. As he readied the knife on the edeg of the cake, the crowd hushed down. Byakuya smirked and let the knife drop, cutting the first piece of cake for the first annual _official_ christmas party. Everyone shouted with cheers and glee. Byakuya took the first piece.

After the crowd settled, renji spokeup. "So, taichou, what kind ofdream did you have that scared you shitless?"

Everyone paid attention to the Kuchiki heir. "Well, for starters, the ghost of christmas past was…Yoruichi" the cat lady perked "and the ghost of Christmas present was Zaraki-taichou" Kenpachi smilled widly "and Renji had a family. Kira was his son and Hinamori was his daughter and Hisagi-fukutaichou was the mom" 69 chocked on his piece of cake "and I met Hisane at a…party…which by the way isn't true, and everyone kept throwing me around" Byakuya took a moment to think and the last ghost…I never found out who he was"

"How odd…" Rukia bgean "what you said was exactly how we planned it"

"So, who was playing the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come?"

The shinigamis looked at each other and stayed siletn.

"Not sure" Ichgio said.

"I don't think we planned that far" Kira added.

"Ya, there wasn't a ghost of Christmas Yet to Come" Rikichi shook his head.

"But…if I dreamed the whole thing up…and the ghost of Christmas Yet to Come…then who was that guy in my dream?"

The whole crowd stayed silent.

**MERRYCHRISTMASTOALL!!!**

**Want to find out who it was?**

**Then PM for it**

**So I can give you the real ending!!**

**Anway, Merry Christmas!!!!!**


End file.
